Okay I made myself wait a day to post this one. I have so much to offer the world right now, I am trying to hold myself back so that I don’t overwhelm THEDRUNKSQUASH with too much wonder. But seriously, this took so much effort to hold back on.
Anybody who knows me personally (IRL 4realz) knows that I am most definitely going to become a crazy cat lady. I am already one at heart, but am currently apartment living rather than farm living and so cannot house one million kitties (I am also holding off on the chickens, goats, dogs, and sheep). Also, my baby hamster would not be happy with a bunch of predators pawing her cage. But regardless of the reality of my situation, I am unmistakeably a crazy cat lady at heart.
I have a cat vest at the bottom of my dresser drawer as we speak. Haven’t worn it in a while. But that is the key phrase: it in a while. Yes, it’s been worn.
Anyways, the point of all of this cat lady pride is the fact that I have seriously been dying over the amount of cat rings out there in the internet shopping world. I know some people wear them ironically, but I am one of those completely dead serious cat jewelry lovers. As I was planning to bookmark some to save for Christmas List ideas, I realized that I don’t have the patience to wait until Christmas. I want a cat ring and I want it now, as my soulmate Veruca Salt would say.
So instead of dying over the rings, I decided to get diying (haha GET IT?). This is why craft clay is so amazing. Check out the process, it basically consists of:
1. Get a nugget-sized piece of clay and warm it in your hands.
2. Roll the clay out until it’s about 1/4″ thick. Or as thick as your fingers want a ring to be.
3. Cut out cat ear shapes and round it out to make a cat face shape. This is not exact science.
4. Use a round pen cap (or like item) to create a guiding hole shape.
5. Widen the hole. If you have a ring mandrel, you can check for size periodically as you shave out the shape. If you don’t have a ring mandrel, you can use a ring that you already have as a guideline.
6. Bake according to clay directions.
7. WEAR ALL DAY EVERY DAY.
It can also be used as a weapon in lieu of brass knuckles if you’re walking home alone late at night. I always think about the weapon capability of my rings. In my humble opinion, rings should be both beautiful AND functional. Or at least make you feel safe. It’s like a cat security guard- which is something I have always wanted.
Anyways, this is getting weird. JUST GO MAKE A CAT RING RIGHT MEOW, it just might be the best thing ever.
The Drunk Squash